Friday, June 12, 2009

Ana enjoys her new job. Except for the scary night shift.

Ana is working for our Archdiocese. She travels from parish to parish and teaches religion. She lives with different parish families for a week then moves one. I don't like it. Nope not one bit, but this is how our last conversation went.

Me ..... Hi Ana, what's going on ?
Ana....... "My friends, and I are staying with an old woman named Ann". She is in her late 80's and she lives in northern Kansas. Her house is old and scary. It's filled with antiques, and a creepy old doll collection , but she is very sweet, and she gets up early each morning ,and prepares a nice breakfast for us. I like her because she reminds me of Grandma.
Last night at around 10:30 there were storm warnings so she took my friends, and I under her house into the basement, and while we were down there she said to me, "did you know that my house use to be a mortuary?" I said ,"no" , "I had no idea", but then she said that I shouldn't be scared because it was about a hundred years ago, and that the upstairs parlor was was used for the business office.

(Me....thinking , well crap what did they use the basement for, and you happened to be IN the basement.)

Me....... So then you were scared out of your mind right ?
Ana..... Yeah, pretty much, I had to sleep with the lights on, and my friends, and I had separate rooms.
Me..... You would have preferred to have shared a room wouldn't you ?
Ana...... yeah, I would rather have shared with one of the other women.
Me..... It didn't comfort you much that it was a hundred years ago now did it?
Ana.... No, not too much. It felt like I was in the movie "The burbs"...
Me...... How much longer do you have to stay there.
Ana...... Another night.
Me...... Oh, no.............

Ana, Your host might have a view master collection or a stereoscope collection that you could bond over. What fun that would be!!

*Ana wants my readers to know that the Male, and Female teachers have separate sleeping quarters. I assumed that they already knew that Ana because your a religion teacher - for the archdiocese, and something bad like that would be a scandal, and if something like that should ever happen then your Mothers eyes would roll back into her head, and she would begin to drool, hyperventilate, and speak in tongues, and as I shake uncontrollably I would then turn into the "Monster on the campus." Here is a film clip sweetheart. Half human - half anthropoid from the dawn of creation, nobody wants to see that happen. Love you , Mom.


Enbrethiliel said...


Oh, crud! =( This is the worst post to read right before I go to bed myself!

No, my home didn't use to be a mortuary . . . but my imagination isn't hindered by technicalities like that.

Guess who else shall be sleeping with a light on! =P

belinda said...

Ana requested a revision. I hope that she likes it !!

I often spray (holy water in a small spray bottle) onto our children before they sleep....

I also have a St Benedict medal that I always wear, but yet sometimes I still...... never mind.

Imagine yourself curled up on Christ's lap, and ignore the noises.