Belinda's brain

I would really enjoy it if one of the Antique road show appraisers would look into the camera with as much emotion and intensity as a surgeon delivering a dire prognosis and say to us, "This item that you've brought to share with us today is a TOTAL PIECE OF CRAP", and then the price scrawled across the bottom of the screen would say, "Piece of crap; value, non-negligible". "Wasted time; services rendered",
 -$25.00