Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Why I will unintentionally die a slow painful death for my faith, or "why we bleed green"

Our dentist tells me yesterday that Kate needs braces. Kate was over the moon with joy, and has told everyone repeatedly how happy she is about this. I wondered to myself "where did Ana put her old braces , she isn't using them anymore. Then I choked back the lump in my throat, and proceed to tell my poor overburdened husband the news. All the while Kate is doing a celebratory dance of jubilation in the kitchen (much like a Pentecostal) .She said braces will be FUN!! Sarah says's to her ,"knock it off Kate, can't you see that this is upsetting for other people"?

There are unintended consequences for saying yes to God. Each time that I was pregnant I trusted that God would send the resources necessary to grow, and fulfill his will for these children. He has not betrayed me ,however unfortunately for my husband, and myself, our suffering is a part of that equation (and I hate math- reference my brain diagram). We are already overburdened financially. We are paying for Catholic grade school, Catholic high school, and some Catholic college, and each of these institutions require varying degrees of dollars in "thousands". and since 1985 too. What choice do we have? We have to spend the money ,not necessarily for a better education, but so that they can receive the fullness of a "Catholic" education. So that they will become a caring people with integrity, and some self discipline - "Holy Catholics".

While people that my husband works with are carting away cash in wheelbarrows ( seriously, most firemen are comfortable financially because they work two jobs ,and their wives work , AND they may have 1 or 2 kids.), we will never be able to retire.
We can't save anything. Even so, I am the most frugal woman on the planet, everyone who knows me would agree.
When I am on my deathbed, and there is no food left, and the money is gone, and the surgeries go undone, and the meds run out ,and they simply pull the plug, because the electric bill hasn't been paid............. Know this Lord!, Know it!.......... It was all for you. Everything!! Each ,and every person that I bore , "my yes - my will " was my gift to you. It's all that I had to give ,and I would do it again, even if it kills me.........Jesus I trust in you.
Have confidence in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not upon thy own prudence.
24 And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus again answering, saith to them: Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches, to enter into the kingdom of God?

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