Friday, March 6, 2009

Modern Day Mortification's Day 10

It was dark outside, and we live in the country. and
after I dressed for bed , I realized that I hadn't taken the trash out ,
and the garbage collectors were coming in the morning .
I was too tired to put some pants on , and I reasoned that no one would ever know ,
and again I live in the country.
So I am outside in my underwear , sleep shirt , and my crocks , and I'm dragging two trash barrels down to the end of our long driveway.
When suddenly our neighbors who share our driveway stopped in their truck
to pick up their mail, and I began to panic .
Then as they turned to go up our driveway, with their headlights pointed straight at me.
I had to make a choice, and rather quickly .

A) I could run like hell , but they would see a half naked woman running in the dark, and besides . I couldn't outrun the speed of light from their headlights wearing Crocks, or any other shoes, and I thought geese would they call the police ? Catholics are not supposed to be half naked outside after dark or anytime really, and I didn't want to be on the 10:00 news.

B) I could try to hide fully behind the barrels, however if I stuck out at all, again they would have wanted to investigate why someone was hiding behind the trash , and AGAIN police could be called or worse yet, they would think that I was trampy , and a Moron. (Oops did I type Mormon? Mormon's are never naked.)

C) I could stand behind the 50 gallon trash barrels, and wave to them , and BEG GOD ALMIGHTY to help my lower half to be well hidden.

I opted for plan "C" . I stood there embarrassed standing behind the barrels.
All the while begging God for coverage.
I think that I still looked like a dork with a freakish smile on my face waving frantically at the neighbors in the dark blinded by their head lights all the while holding on to those barrels trying to draw them tight together ......
and after they drove past me, I ran as fast as I could run in my crocks back to my house,
and you can bet that Paul wasn't suffering this time , but laughing with delight.

1 comment:

Melody K said...

Yeah, I think C was your best option. That would've been great on America's Greatest Home Videos!
My husband teases me because when it's really cold I go out and start the car in my bathrobe and slippers, then come back in and finish dressing for work ("If it's so cold you have to warm up the car, isn't it too cold to be outdoors in your nighties?")