Last week I was questioned by my Dr.Spock ( the child advisor Spock not the pointy eared logical Spock) as to why I was getting rid of yet another child's toy and he asked me , "are you not going to keep anything from your children's childhood?"
I replied, "no nothing , not a single solitary thing." "I carry the children in my heart but I don't have room for their things." In fact I am not emotionally attached to any of their things excluding some of their art work which I thoroughly enjoy.
I have tripped over too many children's rocking chairs in the middle of the night and
I've teared up from the excruciating pain of stepping on a rainbow of LEGOs
and hacked up Barbies from beauty school wannabes.
I've deconstructed a dizzying array of Lincoln log forts encamped for weeks upon my tables readied for battles that never came.
I've ate my way through countless nauseating Mc Meals to acquire a tote full of Mc Toys and now I would rather Mc Starve than ever eat there again and the toys are overflowing.
Now , when I see a Hot wheel car I drive it to the trash and park it there. I figure at least I will never have to pick this one up again.
I've operated on my fair share of talking toys having removed their voice boxes hidden deep within.
I have hidden flutes ,buzzers ,bells , whistles, and batteries.
And when a conflict over children's craft projects would arise I would tell the kids things like
" State Law prohibits" this or that . For example "State Law" prohibits child craft projects that don't fit properly in boxes so you must give all that you make away due to storage safety issues. Yeah , I know it doesn't make any sense but when your say ....., ten years old and someone throws some " STATE LAWS" in your face you listen and then you also begin to hate "law makers." Oh, you should hear my little ones complain about government laws. hahahahaha
I don't want anyone to have hurt feelings, ( God knows the counseling fees would cost us a fortune ) but I refuse to be burdened with the things that you don't really want because if you wanted these things then you would have taken them by now and yet you can't expect for me to treasure the things that you do not. It's not going to happen. I am not bitter nor am I angry but I am tired and I want to move on too. I don't want to live in your childhood shrine for the rest of my days. (I would like a hot tub with my life guard on duty but the sandbox turtle with the Tonka trucks are in the way ) And even though I love you dearly I still want you to come and get your crap .