I consistently stood idly beside my friends while they did all sorts of corrupt things, but it was the theft that I witnessed which I was framed for. Illegal contraband was found in my pocket indicting me, but I kept telling the officials who found me guilty that I was a nice person, simply a follower, as I believed I hadn't done anything wrong. I wondered, "How can an innocent observer be in so much trouble? And why didn't the authorities listen to me as I pled my case? No one cared about me or even gave me an opportunity to tell my side of the story. I simply didn't matter. As irony would have it, this time everyone stood idly beside me and watched as I was sentenced, for no one stood up to defend me. It had never occurred to me that this had been the same thing that I had done to others so many times before.
... And then I began to descend into the darkness. Everywhere I looked I saw hate, not that I couldn't feel it, because I could, but I could also see it. I along with many others were drifting like clouds above a crowd of thousands in the dim light, or rather a dim darkness. We had begun the process of introduction while a group of demons conducted business below, they completely ignored us. As I, along with many others, flowed above them, I saw the demons sitting in a circular meeting of sorts.They were seated in a full organized pattern , but they were in chaos, an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual chaos, though physically still. I got the idea that they were meeting about how to collect more souls, and who should do what, to accomplish their goals. These were the higher up demons, the supposed ones with victories and honor. They were the ones who had won the best souls, the souls who had used their lives to do the most damage to others and or who were instrumental in achieving their demonic outcome..
I passed though this cavernous room to find a smaller more intimate room that was square shaped, it had a bike chain of sorts running along the ceiling in a circle formation on a track, but there was no floor only a rocky cold darkness below, at a depth I could not calculate. I was told that a floor wasn't necessary, for I wouldn't be standing. The demons sneered while they rough handled me, they felt, "Put out" because they had to deal with me, I felt the absence of love, joy, and kindness... only pure hatred was left for me. They acted as though their work was necessary, even important, I wondered who could think this kind of work is important? They wanted me to know that my sins were offensive, "Hypocrites", I thought, and then they said that I was going to have to pay for my sins now and forever. They indicated that the induction period was over, and that it was time to begin.
(Warning -graphic)
One of the demons grabbed me by the waist and the other by the back of my neck and shoulder, another came from the darkness with a board and yet another came towards me with a drill. They told me not to move as they physically restrained me. One of them placed the board flat upon the top of my head and demanded a screw from one of the other demons. My head exploded in noise and pain as I felt my head being screwed to the plank. My head rattled against the board until it was pulled tight, "This will keep you in your place they sneered". This was done so that I wouldn't be a bother to them, but to keep me from spinning or looking around on the suspended board, and from seeing the terror that would come my way, the demons got another board and held it to the right side of my face and again ordered me not to move as they took a very long screw this time and began to screw the board into my right temple to render my right eye blind. It was then that I fully understood the scripture, "There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth", as I heard it first hand and even from my own soul. Then the demons picked me up and fastened the boards to the chain which was on a pulley that rotated around the ceiling of the room in a neverending circle. I was unable to move my head and as I screamed, one of them said to me, we will leave you with perfect hearing so that you will hear us as we approach you from beneath, so that your fear, and terror will be intensified. We will come from the cold darkness below your room and you will know that we are coming for you. I knew what they were talking about because I had seen all of these things which they had described during my introduction period.
As my body began to travel along the chain, one of the demons said in a haughty formal fashion, "Let us begin", "We're going to start with gluttony, your first sin, you will see here that you were at a birthday party, and though you were very young, your were at the age of full consent. You knew you were sinning but you did it anyway, so now we have this birthday cake for you, lot's of cake in fact", and they forced me to gorge on this cake which I no longer felt a lust or desire for, only repulsion, feeling physically sick and full of shame. I was astounded that my mind actually recalled that event, and in detail and though I don't know the exact date it must have been around 1967 and either in the spring or fall because the other girls were wearing pretty sweaters and dresses. I remember playing party games, but all I kept thinking about was that cake.
My body traveled along the track only to find myself at the beginning where we had started, as the demons said, okay now we're going to do it again, then again, and again, for all of eternity and we will do this for every single sin you've ever committed. This was the only time they appeared as though they had some satisfaction in their torment, as it had all been some sort of mundane drudgery before that.
With my one good eye I noticed that there were other people chained along the ceiling and that I hadn't been alone, though I didn't notice them before, I heard their screams as they too were being tortured in rotation. Just then I saw that there were adjacent rooms with glass windows so that we could observe the torment of others. I noticed that everyone's torment was different, creative torture if you will, and adjusted just for you, for your sins, because it was you, after all, who chose to participate in them. Through this very wide window, I saw about 15 Hasidic Jewish men, with long curls along their temples and heads and their bodies covered in religious dress for they had once taken great pride in their appearances and their social status in their communities. They had felt haughty and superior to other people in life and even though their outside appearance looked as though they glorified God with their lives, they were only imposters on the inside, for God found them truly repulsive, like wolves in sheep's clothing. As I watched them, I could see that they were seated at a long wooden table in front of a window and each man was forced to gorge on a pig, for they had been hypocrites and not kept their personal covenants with God in life and he had been displeased with them. They had lived for themselves alone. The pride they once felt had turned to shame, and embarrassment for this was why they were forced to be visible to all. I continued screaming but I couldn't tell if it was my scream or the scream of another as the sound of our souls blended together into one scream. I begged for my mother, my husband , or for anyone who would listen. I raised my hands to God begging for his mercy only to understand that I
was wasting my strength for he would not, or could not hear me in hell.
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I'm not saying this is what hell is really like, in fact, I'm confident it's more unpleasant than what I have written down. I believe that this dream was told to me in such a way so that my small brain could comprehend it and yet not be mentally crushed by it.
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Christ is the only antidote for our poisonous sins. Go to confession and fall in love with Christ while you still have time and become the person who God created you to be.
*I blog my dreams only with permission from my priest, and I summit to the full authority of the Catholic church,.. the bride and heart of Christ himself.. I'm a nobody, go and follow Christ.
