Discipline doesn't disappoint, in fact it rules.

It's super important to learn how to control your emotions, and desires and to "Master" yourself because our prisons are full of people who were unable to do it for themselves.

Don't ever consider trying to "Master" someone else when you have a speck in your own eye. Trying to control another person is a serious error in judgement. It's a waste of  your energy, time, and emotions, but specifically it's a waste of your life. Quickly learn the differences between a persons personality traits, quirks, and annoying behaviors, and their sins. Sinful behavior should never be accepted, never embraced or encouraged, and always promptly forgiven.   More growth can be accomplished if you set an example and keep yourself quiet and pray to the Holy Spirit to "enlighten" your subject of affection, but don't be surprised if you're the one who "Gets" enlightened instead, because only God can change people, but first we've got to get out of his way. 

(Please either ignore me or indulge me as I write to my children.) 

Hard won salvation

 Could someone please safeguard the red shoes until they're worn again because the blood of our martyrs will never ever become inconsequential, in fact their blood as a witness to Christ is eternal.

I dreamt Obama made this awesome speech and held everyone enthralled, but afterwards he went down to the basement with a piece of the wall from the building where he had just spoke. He handed it over to a worker who filed it with either plastics, metal, wood, etc for recycling.  Many more people, were joining him and before you knew it, they had stripped the place bare, but it was okay because he, and his loyal minion staff were virtuously recycling, all the while verbally building one another up with some people being so enamored with the president, and  holding him in such high esteem that they couldn't see that the building at some point is going to crush them and everyone else in the basement.... 

All the while I saw Michelle was trying her hand at modeling as she fancies herself a trendsetter.

*Restating the obvious, though it wasn't any less a nightmare.

Hell - the dream, or somethings burning,.... I think it's me and that Kosher ham.

   I consistently stood idly beside my friends while they did all sorts of corrupt things, but it was the theft that I witnessed which I was framed for. Illegal contraband was found in my pocket indicting me, but I kept telling the officials who found me guilty that I was a nice person, simply a follower, as I believed I hadn't  done anything wrong. I wondered,  "How can an innocent observer be in so much trouble? And why didn't the authorities listen to me as I pled my case? No one cared  about me or even gave me an opportunity to tell my side of the story. I simply didn't matter. As irony would have it, this time everyone stood idly beside me and watched as I was sentenced, for no one stood up to defend me. It had never occurred to me that this had been the same thing that I had done to others so many times before.

   ... And then I began to descend into the darkness. Everywhere I looked I saw hate, not that I couldn't feel it, because I could, but I could also see it.  I along with many others were drifting like clouds above a crowd of thousands in the dim light, or rather a dim darkness. We had begun the process of introduction while a group of demons conducted business below,   they completely ignored us. As I, along with many others, flowed above them, I saw the demons sitting in a circular meeting of sorts.They were seated in a full organized  pattern , but they were in chaos, an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual chaos, though physically still. I got the idea that they were meeting  about how to collect more souls, and who should do what, to accomplish their goals.  These were the higher up demons, the supposed ones with victories and honor. They were the ones who had won the best souls, the souls who  had used their lives to do the most damage to others and or who were instrumental in achieving their demonic outcome..

I passed though this cavernous room to find a smaller more intimate room that was square shaped, it had a bike chain of sorts running along the ceiling in a circle formation on a track, but there was no floor only a rocky cold darkness below, at a depth I could not calculate. I was told that a floor wasn't necessary, for I wouldn't be standing. The demons sneered while they rough handled me, they felt, "Put out" because they had to deal with me,  I felt the absence of love, joy, and kindness... only pure hatred was left for me. They acted as though their work was necessary, even important, I wondered who could think this kind of work is important? They wanted me to know that my sins were offensive, "Hypocrites", I thought, and then they said that I was going to have to pay for my sins now and forever. They indicated that the induction period was over, and that it was time to begin.

(Warning -graphic)

    One of the demons grabbed me by the waist and the other by the back of my neck and shoulder, another came from the darkness with a board and yet another came towards me with a drill. They told me not to move as they physically restrained me. One of them placed the board  flat upon the top of my head and demanded a screw from one of the other demons. My head exploded in noise and pain as I felt my head being screwed to the plank. My head rattled against the board until it was pulled tight, "This will keep you in your place they sneered". This was done so that  I wouldn't be a bother to them, but to keep me from spinning or looking around on the suspended board, and from seeing the terror that would come my way,  the demons got another board and held it to the right side of my face and again ordered me not to move as they took a very long screw this time and began to screw the board into my right temple to render my right eye blind.  It was then that I fully understood the scripture, "There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth", as I heard it first hand and even from my own soul.  Then the demons picked me up and fastened the boards  to the chain which was on a pulley that rotated  around the ceiling of the room in a neverending circle. I was unable to move my head and as I screamed, one of them said to me, we will leave you with perfect hearing so that you will hear us as we approach you from beneath, so that your fear, and terror will be intensified. We will come from the cold darkness below your room and you will know that we are coming for you. I knew what they were talking about because I had seen all of these things which they had described during my introduction period.

    As my body began to travel along the chain,  one of the demons said in a haughty formal fashion, "Let us begin", "We're going to start with gluttony, your first sin, you will see here that you were at a birthday party, and though you were very young, your were at the age of full consent. You knew you were sinning but you did it anyway, so now we have this birthday cake for you, lot's of cake in fact", and they forced me to gorge on this cake which I no longer felt a lust or desire for, only repulsion, feeling physically sick and full of shame. I was astounded that my mind actually recalled that event, and in detail and though I don't know the exact date it must have been around 1967 and either in the spring or fall because the other girls were wearing pretty sweaters and dresses. I remember playing party games, but all I kept thinking about was that cake.                    

   My body traveled along the track only to find myself at the beginning where we had started, as the demons said, okay now we're going to do it again,  then again, and again, for all of eternity and we will do this for every single sin you've ever committed. This was the only time they appeared as though they had some satisfaction in their torment, as it had all been some sort of mundane drudgery before that.

      With my one good eye I noticed that there were other people chained along the ceiling and that I hadn't been alone, though I didn't notice them before, I heard their screams as they too were being tortured in rotation. Just then I saw that there were adjacent rooms with glass windows so that we could observe the torment of others. I noticed that everyone's torment was different, creative torture if you will, and adjusted just for you, for your sins, because it was you, after all, who chose to participate in them. Through this very wide window, I saw about 15 Hasidic Jewish men, with long curls along their temples and  heads and their bodies covered in religious dress for they had once taken great pride in their appearances and their social status in their communities. They had felt haughty and superior to other people in life and even though their outside appearance looked as though they glorified God with their lives, they were only imposters on the inside, for God found them truly repulsive, like wolves in sheep's clothing. As I watched them, I could see that they were seated at a  long wooden table in front of a window and each man was forced to gorge on a pig, for they had been hypocrites and not  kept their personal covenants with God  in life and he had been displeased with them. They had lived for themselves alone. The pride they once felt had turned to shame, and embarrassment for this was why they were forced to be visible to all. I continued screaming  but I couldn't tell if it was my scream or the scream of another as the sound of our souls blended together into one scream. I begged for my mother, my husband , or for anyone who would listen. I raised my hands to God begging for his mercy only to understand that I
was wasting my strength for he would not, or could not hear me in hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not saying this is what hell is really like, in fact, I'm confident it's more unpleasant than what I have written down. I believe that this dream was told to me in such a way so that my small brain could comprehend it and yet not be mentally crushed by it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christ is the only antidote for our poisonous sins. Go to confession and fall in love with Christ while you still have time and become the person who God created you to be.

*I blog my dreams only with permission from my priest, and I summit to the full authority of the Catholic church,.. the bride and heart of Christ himself..      I'm a nobody, go and follow Christ.

What a waste

I don't believe that God minds being worshiped in a way that a particular congregation finds acceptable, depending upon the religion and the wealth of the community. Opulence isn't out of place when worshiping God, though personal luxury for the religious people who serve him, I find unacceptable and offensive. Our worship environment is supposed to be a place which promotes devotion and awe for God, and his glory.

Christs own disciples were upset with Mary Magdalene for anointing Christ with an expensive alabastron bottle of perfume, worth a years wage. Judas, the betrayer, commented indignity to Christ that the perfume should have been sold, and the money used to feed the poor, but Christ replied, " “Why do you bother the woman? For she has done a good deed to Me. “For you always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me.“For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial."

***

We are called to feed the poor among us, but at the same time, we worship God in a way that is appropriate, right and just.. befitting of our creator.

In my opinion, for the most part, mankind has caused the famines, starvation and deaths of the poor. Consider government embargo's which have kept stockpiled food from getting to people who've needed it. North Korea doesn't have a problem with letting their people die from starvation, or from anything else for that matter. This has been the case for certain regions in Africa too.

God has put enough food on this planet for every person. Examine yourselves, look in the backs of your pantry, is there food that has been in there for years? Have you eaten more than your fair share of food today, yesterday? Do you ever go meatless for a day or two? Do you ever fast? Are you overweight ? Do you eat for recreation, or out of boredom or stress ? Do you waste food - straight from the refrigerator, pantry, or plate? Do you pick up food from local restaurants or grocery stores at the end of the day to take to shelters or soup kitchens? Do you donate or work in soup kitchens? Do you gamble your grocery money, or buy drugs with it instead?  Do you ever make do, and eat those crummy leftovers in the frig?

Anyway, if your going to blame God ,why not blame Satan instead because if one exists then so must the other.
 I suppose blaming ourselves isn't part of the picture.

*For my facebook friend who doesn't believe in God though his daughter is an Anton LaVey follower.

“I have wandered onto the subject of silence. But this is not what I wanted to speak about, but rather about the soul's life with God and about its response to grace. When a soul has been cleansed, and the Lord is on intimate terms with it, it begins to apply all its inner force in striving after God. Yet the soul cannot do anything of itself. God alone arranges everything. The soul knows this and is mindful of it. It is still in exile and understands well that there may yet come cloudy and rainy days, but it must now look upon things differently from what it had up to now. It does not seek reassurance in a false peace, but makes ready for battle. It knows it comes from a warrior race. It is now much more aware of everything. It knows that it is of royal stock. It is concerned with all that is great and holy.”

-Sister Faustina

Elizabeth has applied for a job at one of the  Disney studios and they have  responded favorably to her portfolio. They said that she's one of the finalists

 - but then there are probably a lot of finalists.

We've started a nine day novena on Elizabeth's behalf. Our son  has been participating with us, praying as he's never prayed before. He threw his whole heart into it, praying solemnly, slowly and with as much  devotion and passion as his little heart could muster, unlike his usual method of praying like an auctioneer - late for a pig roast. Joseph believes if his sister is hired, she will then mail him a couple of tickets to Disney World or Disney land so if this prayer is answered God would be in essence killing two birds with one stone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Elizabeth was sitting in her office overlooking Paramount studios next door and watching people come and go in their Bentley's, and Mercedes, then as she  turned to gaze at the "Hollywood" sign, she told me she thought to herself, "Is this all there is?" This place is such a joke. How did  it become so iconic. Hollywood has sold us all a bunch of lies.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's another movie, Elizabeth has made.

Please consider praying for our daughter. We need people like her in Hollywood.

Yesterday, after one of our two  daughters wedding engagements were called off, I said to her, "Fall into Christ, he should be our first love and our main focus, he's everything." She said, "I'm going to drive to Kansas City and walk through the ghetto and hope I get shot to death." I said, "Well, something much worse would happen before you were shot to death and then you'd get to live. It's time for you to live for Christ alone." She said, "He hates me, and he's screwed me over." I said, "Christ screws no one, people screw one another, besides Christ knows exactly how you feel because he was also betrayed by a kiss.

Our broken hearted daughter doesn't realize it yet but she did indeed dodge a bullet and she didn't even have to go to Kansas city to do it.

Last night I dreamt I was inside of a beautiful cathedral and standing off to the right side of the alter watching religious people known and unknown to me as they prepared their habits and vestments for some sort of religious festivity which we were  about to participate in and we were all very excited about it! 

 Though these saints had  long since died, they were very much alive and busying themselves with their joyful preparations.  They had all been  members of various religious orders and were adding the finishing touches to their robes and beautiful vestments trimmed with gold and jewels but then I see Barry Manilow walk in from the side door and I'm thinking aw, geese, he's gonna ruin everything, besides he's Jewish. he shouldn't be here! 

Barry then begins to chit- chat with the saints about the kind of music they wanted him to sing and as he yammers on and on about his songs , I'm thinking, "Beat it Barry, we're busy,"  I want to hang out with the saints and watch them prepare to meet God, besides your songs are not "Mass worthy."  But noooooo, I'm stuck listening to him and worse yet I'm the one who has to ride with him in the car to a different  Cathedral which had been prepared for this special occasion.

As we rode in the car Barry tries to decide which songs to preform and he began to speak to me about his thoughts and feelings but then he asks me, "Did you know, I write the songs?" I said, "Yeah Barry, I know, I know." But all the while I'm praying, I just want to talk to God, and hang out with his people. I don't want to pray for Barry, I don't want anything to do with Barry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I know there's a lesson for me in that dream but I haven't figured it out yet. Thanks Barry.

 

Westwood cemetery, Los Angeles, California

This cemetery consists of two acres smack dab in the middle of the city of westwood village and is surrounded by towering sky scrappers. It took my activity director two tries on separate days to find the place because of it's odd seclusion.

Eddy Arnold is buried next to his wife Margo and also his friend Eva Gabor. Eddy lived to be 99 years old.

Bride of the monster, Loretta King

Don Knotts

Truman Capote

Heather O' Rourke

 It's believed that Heather haunts stage 19. (I didn't see her but then again, I wasn't looking for her either.) They say she  runs and plays on the cat walks.

Stage 19

Hugh Hefner plans to be buried next to Marilyn Monroe and has purchased the spot on the left. With Hef pushing 86, I'm thinking it could be any day now.  Many women have kissed Marilyn's crypt but I don't understand why people touch  tombstones.  It seems so disrespectful.

Dean Martin

Why would a Catholic choose to be buried in a non -Catholic cemetery?

 Walter Matthau and his wife Carol.

Someones movin' in.

The back alley of Venice beach, California.

 I enjoyed watching these boys and they liked being photographed.

 Medical marijuana anybody? 
There was a real live doctor inside  hahahaha and he shook his head "No", at me when I stopped to take a photo of his store.  Later on in the week we saw a medical marijuana shop with people standing in line about 30 people deep - and they didn't look like rocket scientists either.
(On second thought, I guess maybe they did.)

We don't have illegal drugs in Kansas, nor huge selections of custom hand blown glass pieces used for room decor accents.

Here's where you could go to get a medical evaluation for marijuana.

(I'm confident that it's all cootie free and above board.)

Dear God, why can't every day be Cinco de mayo?!
~~~~~

Our priest said we're supposed to pray before meals and even in public. Father said, "You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about Jesus, followed by... "You wouldn't want him to be embarrassed about you, now would you!?"

 Well of course not  but I really think it's too late for that since I've been blogging for some time now.

I never pray in public before meals because I don't want to draw attention to myself  and I don't want to appear as self righteous, or haughty and honestly, I don't want to embarrass Jesus,  what if I have to slap one of my children at the table? (I never slap my children, I can't afford the counseling.)

My activity director decided to take us out for lunch yesterday and as you can see I'm having a great time but my  poor director on the other hand, looks as though he's getting ready to part with one of  his favorite dogs or maybe he's scheduled  for some sort of costly, yet painful dental procedure or perhaps he's lost his best friend?

~~~~~~

Nope, he still has his best friend!

~~~~~~

Dental repairs are waaaay more painful than poison ivy, I'd better make my  administrator some chocolate pudding but thinned down so he can slurp it through a straw and though  he's getting rather expensive, I'll probably still keep him..... for now.

 Oh death were is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting?

1 Corinthians 15:55

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall rise again incorruptible: and we shall be changed.

``````````````````````
Consider Satan's three day victory  - it was short lived and the victories Satan has gained through us are temporary  as well.

As  sons and daughters of the most high God, we win and we will never renounce this faith nor relinquish our victory -through Christ to anybody - ever.

This is a video of John Clark Gable who was born on March 20th 1961- four months after the death of his father.  He was baptised in 1961 but I don't understand why the baptism was held outside. I think this film clip is strange.

Praying for "lost boys" and people with anger issues.

*****
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.

(Please Dear God, grant us your pardon and peace and help us to not be so angry.) 

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, but as I walked past your car I thought perhaps maybe you were  .... um... well...  ummm.....  maybe you  needed  CPR a hand, or something. I didn't know people could sleep with their  heads so far forward defying the laws of gravity, nature and science without actually reaching a tipping point. Your chin was  practically on  the your floor chest so naturally I was concerned. I'm sorry I thank God I could wake woke you, but after being startled, it's good to know your pacemaker could handle the extra jolt. Perhaps you could consider adjusting your hair now that your awake because it's moved too far forward  and is nearly covering your eyes , but  worse yet,  it isn't covering the back of your head any longer and again,  I'm really sorry I ruined your nap. If only I could have seen your chest moving or maybe if you'd a had the lung power to fog up  a window or something  I wouldn't have been so worried.

Anyway, again,.....I'm so sorry ,but frankly, I am a little disappointed with your lack of gratitude.

I dream in anxiety.

Jesus I trust in you.

 

I had a dream last night that my newly deceased grandmother gave me a  hug while I was sleeping. She wrapped both of her arms around me and locked her fingers together and squeezed me tight until I felt as though I couldn't breath and as I gasped for air she had a huge smile on her no longer ancient looking  face. 

Her hug felt more like  the Heimlich maneuver than a kind gesture of affirmation so  I told her to "Knock it off!" Which she promptly did and then she became crest fallen and disappeared.

*****

As usual she was surprised by my response. Some people try really hard to please the people around them but they don't know how. Grandma never knew how to relate to me and I was never pleased with my grandmothers reactions or interactions with me. I just didn't "get" her, but now I see it more as awkwardness on her part and immaturity on  mine and to be fair I do have a difficult personality. It was  hard for her to "Grandparent" a child that acted as though she was born at thirty and didn't want to be bothered by anybody.

*****
I'd love to tell the story about the time my grandmother gave me lingerie for a wedding gift but I shouldn't. I was horrified to open box after box of this stuff in front of my family.  I was not a happy camper. I looked at her across the table all perplexed and she looked at me all perplexed and neither one of us said a word to one other as my mother hid her amusement.
The next morning those four boxes went to the Salvation Army (-poor Salvanians) and because I was such a brat I didn't even send her a thank you card. I should have wrote one that said, "Knock it off grandma!"