How to win friends ,and influence people !!

I have recently heard about a story of something that had happened to one of our blogger buddies. She said that someone threw a diaper into her yard over a fence. So she went to her neighbors door to return it. This kind of thing happens where I live all of the time except that we never know who does this sort of thing. People usually dump couches, broken furniture or old refrigerators. So I would like to offer my suggestions to her in case this should ever happen again.

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First you cut off the tabs that secure the diaper and then set them back ,or you could actually cut a one inch piece from the diaper- if your brave, then you get an envelope and you put a Q-tip swab inside of the envelope with a note.
You write "this" on the note..... "Hi , I found this diaper in my yard ,and I wanted to return it to you." "I am very conscientious about the environment - I care. So I cut samples of DNA from this diaper, and I was wondering if you would mind swabbing the inside of your infants cheek or collecting some drool from it's chin , and then if you could return this swab to me as soon as possible that would be great!(DNA can be fragile) "The authorities have suggested to me that I need more proof for a diaper verification if you will." "Thank you so very much for your time, and I hope that your family enjoyed the Christmas cookies that I had sent to you - last Christmas." God bless you all.

Then I would put it on a bed of shredded paper in a box (note, all recycled materials) along with the note ,Q-tip ,and the diaper then seal the box and over tape it , then address it , and take it to the post office as quickly as possible, then have it weighed. After you find out how much it weighs, then I would put that amount of postage on the package - LESS 3 cents, and here's what will happen ; the neighbors would get an official notification in the mail that reads "you have a package waiting for you at your local post office, and if you want to collect your package you must come down to the office ,and pay the balance of the unpaid postal fees. So when they happily run to the post office (because everyone loves an unexpected brown paper package tied up with string) they will be frustrated to learn that they drove all the way down to the post office for 3 cents.(It would cost them at least $2.50 in gas) Of course your neighbors won't have three cents so they have to go back to the car to look for loose change between the car seat cushions.
After they pay the postal fee ,they would then have to struggle with the over wrapped package. Perhaps they would be unable to open this package until they got home- with tools, then Surprise !!! They find your nice note, a Q-tip swab,a two week old dirty diaper that's missing a one inch square , and your warm Christmas wishes from last season.
That my dear Cathy is how you make lasting friendships. Then remember to send them some cookies next Christmas....in a brown package as before, but don't forget to add three cents extra for postage.

This is my life I have learned much of it the hard way.