Monday, September 21, 2009

Giving your children everything that they want doesn't produce "better people".

Feeling the pain of want and learning how to deal with those feelings it isn't a bad thing. Besides children will have to learn this at some point in their lives anyway. It's best to learn it from their mothers and while they're still young.
Today as I was doing a job for Catholic charities, I spotted a new friend of mine waiting for food. I smiled at her when her eyes met mine as she welled up with *tears. I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek and said that I was glad to see her there and that her situation was only temporary and that when her family gets back on their feet they too would be able to help someone else who comes in requesting food. I said that everything would be okay. Then she began to sob. I told her that I was proud of her for living her faith and that I know that those faith decisions often bring about much suffering. She has ten kids and she had also mentioned to me that she felt guilty that most of her kids weren't in sports and other after school activities. I said to her, "you know you deserve to have a life too and you're under no obligation to make sure that each child is in an activity and there are no laws that say that kids must be and do everything.Besides they have a full life ahead of them. Teach them that they can learn and discover new things when they get older and that they can learn whatever they desire when they get a car and a job."
We can't compete with Mom's who only have two children by choice. We physically can't be in that many places at once and as I said before we Moms deserve to have a life too. I told her to stop feeling guilty and stop feeling like your short changing your children after all you gave them life and many moms refuse to do even that for their children.

* Yes, I generally do make people cry when I speak to them and take this to heart ~ birth control is demonic.


Melody K said...

It is said that God usually works through other people. So you were "Jesus with skin" to your friend today. I'm sure that she felt better after talking to you, even though she cried a bit (probably needed that, too). I agree with you that parents shouldn't feel guilty about their children not being in every activity. What they really need (and many don't get) is time with their families.

Adrienne said...

We didn't even have all that "carp" when I was growing up. We made our own fun and used our imagination. Most kids today are so over-organized and it has made them dolts.

And besides, with 10 kids they can have all the fun they want without anyone else...

belinda said...

Yes Adrienne I would agree. I think it's really unhealthy for a child to try to do and be everything besides they need to learn to manage and control their own time ,their bodies ,and their thoughts . That's hard to do if your over scheduled. They need to create their own activities. That poor mom looked so frazzled. Her spirit and energy level was so low that she was barely afloat. I think that she is afraid to say no to her children and as they grow they will crush her if she doesn't get strong now. She too is operating from a worldly mindset of what it takes to be a parent of one or two.
Thanks Melody for the compliment. I often wonder if I'm contributing to the body of Christ in an effective way or not.