Sunday, November 15, 2009

I hate Chuck.

(Some refer to him as Up-Chuck)
I think of Chuck E. Cheese playrooms as a casino for little people. It's a place that has whirling screaming machines, and loud music with lots of mesmerizing blinking lights. The kids are all hopped up on candy, birthday cake, and soda and every surface from the floor to 4-1/2 feet high is either sticky, or coated in some sort of an unidentifiable kid slime - a natural by product of children.
My son was given a cup of machine tokens and he quickly discovered with the "Skee-ball" machine that tickets would pop out of it according to how many points he was able to rack up and with those tickets he could redeem them for even more CANDY ,or for "toy-lets" ( small worthless crappy toys made in China that were manufactured from toxic plastic sludge and or lead waste products which always ends up in the kids mouth) and all of this means that there's more crap for their mothers to pick up so that moms can become discouraged and question their own self worth.
While I waited on my son I ordered a pizza for myself . It said on the menu that it was a six slice personal pizza for $4.99. I thought to myself , "well I can't eat six slices, but I can take the leftovers home to my other children". After about 45 minutes they brought out my pizza and the slices were the size of triangular "Doritos" tortilla chips.
I polished it off in no time while the children attending the birthday party were able to play in front of a video camera that would televise their activities upon a handful of huge televisions screens positioned throughout the building. I saw this six year old boy in front of the camera and as he was facing backwards he began to dance and grind with his butt , though fully clothed , he was slapping his butt and rotating his hips kinda like something Beyonce or J.Lo would do. I was speechless and I couldn't help but to ponder where he learned that kind of a move. I wondered if his parent all red faced and apologetic would rush to the stage area to stop him, but no such luck.
Then I wondered to myself if I would be able to duplicate that move for my blog administrator then I realized that it would be impossible
because I'm a very , very white girl and I move like Al Gore.
Sixty-five years of television hasn't been good for our children.


Enbrethiliel said...



Oh, Belinda, this is so funny!

Vincenzo said...


belinda said...

Thank you Vince for not putting my head on Al Gore. hahaha

I don't sing or dance.(my family complains about it too) My sister in law was trying to read my lips because she had suffered some hearing loss and she said that I don't move my lips when I speak. I thought, "geese, I could have a career as a ventriloquist " , or maybe just as the dummy. ;)

Vincenzo said...

"This blog will be serving pecan pie today."