Saturday, April 10, 2010

I gave up cussing two Lents ago but even so  I'm still  in the  habit of referring to our mail lady as " The crazy a** mail lady.  She always delivers other peoples mail to my house and she drives like a bat outta you know where and I'm always  worried that because she drives so fast she might run over one of our children or pets when she delivers the packages that are too big for my mail box. My handyman solved the problem by installing a huge mailbox so now I never have to see her but she still delivers the wrong mail.  Sometimes I illegally peruse the magazines she delivers and during breakfast  this morning I read the  "Lydia's uniforms" catalog but I decided the names of the colors were wrong and should reflect the profession.

  • Sun  - whacked out bilirubin
  • aqua- morgue ready blue
  • lime - Lyme
  • Apricot-  Jello Orange ( makes things better)
  • Passion-  discharge pink
  • Orchid- varicose vein
  • white -leukocytes
  • black- plague
Maybe my mail lady doesn't have the market cornered on crazy.

3 comments:

Nan said...

Your postal delivery professional drives like a banshee?

belinda said...

Yep, and with all of the distressing wails and honks too. I hear, honk,honk,honk, honk,honk, honk like about.... 13 times and I restain myself from telling her where I would like for her to place her horn each and every time.

I'm a twitchy person and she grates on my nerves. God bless her.

scuppered said...

You have a gift, Belinda. Perhaps you should consider working for J.Crew. :)