I gave up cussing two Lents ago but even so I'm still in the habit of referring to our mail lady as " The crazy a** mail lady. She always delivers other peoples mail to my house and she drives like a bat outta you know where and I'm always worried that because she drives so fast she might run over one of our children or pets when she delivers the packages that are too big for my mail box. My handyman solved the problem by installing a huge mailbox so now I never have to see her but she still delivers the wrong mail. Sometimes I illegally peruse the magazines she delivers and during breakfast this morning I read the "Lydia's uniforms" catalog but I decided the names of the colors were wrong and should reflect the profession.
Sun - whacked out bilirubin
aqua- morgue ready blue
lime - Lyme
Apricot- Jello Orange ( makes things better)
Passion- discharge pink
Orchid- varicose vein
Maybe my mail lady doesn't have the market cornered on crazy.