The little elf who was really a troll.
I'm hanging around outside of the ginger bread house where St.Nicholas was entertaining little angels and as I'm pulling up the rear in the Santa line, (which I might add ,at one point was as bad as the D.M.V.) I'm listening to parents rehearse with their children about what they're going to say to Santa and what they want for Christmas, when suddenly a crusty old woman wearing an embellished grandma Christmas sweater -a Elf Nazi, starts yelling at the parents and their children and says's to all of us, "Santa is done and he isn't seeing anymore children now!" "It's time for him to go because he has lots of things to do at the North Pole!" ( As I'm thinking ,"Well the laundry is done , he might have a sink full of dishes but they can wait" ;) and so I said to her in my special little way, "No, he can spend as much time here as he needs to, he really doesn't have anything else he could be doing right now, he's not done." Then the grandma elf became an indignant angrier elf, and said, "OH, YES HE IS!" "He's tired and he needs to get back to the North Pole!" "We don't want him to get worn out because he wont want to come back again next year. I said, "No, he can sit there for as long as it takes, it's really no trouble at all, I know Santa wants to see all of the children in line." I'm positive he does! (Poor Santa, I didn't even consider that he might need a bathroom break or perhaps he was hungry, he rarely complains and besides I had a broken cookie in my pocket, which for him , always makes everything better!) But the little elf continued , "SANTA NEEDS TO GET BACK TO THE NORTH POLE! and so then I put my left arm around the antiquated troll, and hugged her tightly so she would feel comfort and restraint which has always been the method I've used for little people who refuse reason. It gives the offender a moment to collect their thoughts , feel security and emotional support and yet wonder if I'm going to hurt them or not. She replied to me- in her thin, whiny, voice, "We've been here since six o'clock this morning and we're tired and if we push Santa he wont want to come back next year! I said, "I understand, I'm so sorry," And I really was, I don't want anyone to suffer, honestly I don't, but all the while I'm thinking, "Suck it up, - children come first." As I assured her that Santa would - positively be back again next year - I will make him I promise ;) The woman finally relented and said, "Well, after these kids in line go through it's over! No more new kids!" and so I smiled at her, nodded my head and reluctantly agreed.
After the last child had left, Santa asked me, "Is the fire truck still out in front and waiting for me? Have they left without me? I said, "No, Santa, they're still waiting for you , and I have a broken cookie in my pocket just for you." and my Santa/ blog administrator/ activity director said, "Well nobody threw up, or wet on me this year." I said, "Well that's a - win-win for both of us!
-You don't think Santa is the one who would actually have to clean that now do you?