I was in the check out line of my favorite thrift shop watching a little boy as he pestered his mother into buying him a toy chainsaw. He jumped up and down, with excitement, thrilled that his mother said yes to the toy with endless creative possibilities. As he bounced off the floor and register tables waiting for his mother to pay for their things, he said, " When I get home, I'm going to saw Dad, aunt Keisha, uncle Wayne, my sister, and Sparkles. (His sisters pet)

I was worried that he meant it in a Texas chainsaw kind of way until I considered the possibility that maybe I misunderstood and he meant in a magical "David Copperfield" kind of way. Whew!

So many people to pray for and so little time.

Somebody better call ahead and warn Sparkles.

Since Mike Tyson loves ears, chickens,  pigeons and they seem to have a calming effect on his personality as they bring out his tender- gentler side.

 I'm thinking that maybe we could mail a pair of peaceful doves or love birds to Chris Brown, with that  very same intention.

People like me who are quick to anger might want to consider making some meaningful changes with their tempers because your - "I'm sorrys", only go so far and then your sincere remorse becomes worthless to your fellow man - except unto God.

 ~~~~~~

 We may be too late, but has anyone noticed that Mr.Tyson's pigeons don't any have ears?! 

   And do you think he  understands how many possible contaminants he's exposing himself to by kissing pigeons?

- St.Louis Encephalitis, salmonella, ,candidiaiasis chlamydia psittachi,histoplasmosis, cryptococcosis, bed bugs,chicken mites, yellow meal worms, dental decay, halitosis, E coli  and with one well placed peck he could'a lost an eye!

~~~~~~

My activity director/blog administrator has ordered 24 chicks...... darn!

He must have forgotten about our cats. hehe

When is who coming for dinner?  Who already came to dinner on Tuesday. Who came in through the front door but who didn't have to exit through the back door,  Dolly had to exit through the back door but who didn't care.

(Isn't it funny how some pets look like their owners?)

 Who will visit a Chinese learning center in Chicago on Thursday. (I'm assuming that like the  Mexicans in Kansas who make my Chinese food ;) - Mexicans will also attend that very same learning center ; )  The Chicago center is named  "The Confucius institute" which is designed to spread the use of Mandarin
(- and  BTW.. I love Mandarins  and American Chinese food but then who doesn't?! No, who does!)

Apparently sometime today, Senate majority leader Harry Reid called who ,  a dictator -which I found profoundly amusing but I stop laughing when I realize that the joke is really on us.

Life was funnier when our leader was a Bush. 

The little elf who was really a troll.

I'm hanging around outside of the ginger bread house where St.Nicholas was entertaining  little angels and as I'm  pulling up the rear in the Santa line, (which I might add ,at one point was as bad as the D.M.V.)    I'm  listening to parents rehearse with their children about what they're  going to say to Santa and what they want for Christmas, when suddenly a crusty old woman wearing an embellished grandma Christmas sweater -a  Elf Nazi, starts yelling at the  parents and their children and says's to all of us, "Santa is done and he isn't seeing anymore children now!"  "It's time for him to go because he has lots of things to do at the North Pole!" ( As I'm thinking ,"Well the laundry is done , he might have a sink full of dishes but they can wait" ;) and so I said to her in my special little way, "No,  he can spend as much time here as he needs to, he really doesn't have anything else he could be doing right now,  he's not  done." Then the grandma elf  became an indignant angrier elf, and said, "OH, YES HE IS!"  "He's tired and he needs to get back to the North Pole!"  "We don't want him to get worn out because he wont want to come back again next year. I said, "No, he can sit there for as long as it takes, it's really no trouble at all,  I know Santa wants to see all of the children in line." I'm positive he does!  (Poor Santa, I didn't even consider that  he might need a bathroom break or perhaps he was hungry,  he rarely complains and besides I had a broken cookie  in my pocket, which for him , always makes everything better!) But the little elf  continued , "SANTA NEEDS TO GET BACK TO THE NORTH POLE! and so  then I put my left arm  around the  antiquated troll, and hugged her tightly so she would feel comfort and restraint which  has always been the method I've  used  for little people who refuse reason. It gives the offender a moment to collect their thoughts , feel security and emotional support and  yet wonder if I'm going to hurt them or not. She replied to me- in her thin, whiny, voice, "We've been here since six o'clock this morning and we're tired and if we push Santa he wont want to come back next year! I said, "I understand,  I'm so sorry,"  And I really was, I don't want anyone to suffer, honestly I don't, but all the while I'm thinking, "Suck it up, - children come first." As I assured her that Santa would - positively be back again next year - I will make him  I promise ;) The woman finally relented and said, "Well, after these kids in line  go through it's over!  No more new kids!" and so I smiled at her, nodded my head and reluctantly agreed.

***

After the last child had left, Santa asked me, "Is the fire truck still out in front and  waiting for me? Have they left without me?  I said, "No, Santa, they're still waiting for you , and I have a broken cookie in my pocket just for you." and my Santa/  blog administrator/ activity director said, "Well nobody threw up, or wet on me this year." I said, "Well that's a - win-win  for both of us!

 -You don't think Santa is the one who would  actually have to clean that now do you?

Some peoples avatars are hysterical.

FREE MAMMOGRAMS!!

And possible prostrate screenings and even if your a female!  No copay !

(The only stipulation is, you hafta fly somewhere.)

With  repeated exposure from the airport scanners, poor Mr. Einsteins hair was never the same.

(You can  put a good spin on anything that's bad and there will always be some one who will  fall for it.)

Not all Prinz'es are charming.

I question the kind of people Zsa Zsa Gabor/ Belge/ Hilton/ Sanders/ Hutner/Cosden/ Ryan/ O'Hara/ Alba/ Anhalt had surrounded herself with for the entirety of her life. Her current husband (but this time it matters) Frederic Prinz von Anhalt - and apparently her last, wants to stuff  plastinate  his dying - but not yet cold  wife. (Ah..... - true love sometimes doesn't wait.) I also question the wisdom of Prinz Fred's  thinking -have we not learned anything  from the slow pitch "minor- minor laboratory league"  head games featuring Ted Williams?!  ( I suppose it was actually more of an  ice hockey or a turkey bowl but even so  those were seasonal activities , unfortunately Ted's now in a position to play year round.

(Head's up batter-batter.)

 Okay, so I'm thinking,  if  Prinz Fred's gonna turn his wife into an art project I'm wondering, where he's gonna keep her? You can't leave something like that out on the lawn like one of those life like deer statues (Except during the Halloween season when he'd have the "way coolest" house on the block!! - but even so that wouldn't give him permission to pass out cheap crappy candy!)  (Another idea would be to  hang her from the outside  guttering by her finger tips with blinking icicle lighting wrapped around her body. That could be a charming and a fun filled way to display her during the Christmas holiday season.)

I think, just  as Ted Williams had always wanted to get around to all of the bases, then score-  poor  Prinz Fred's future girlfriend will find a nude jerky-fied Zsa Zsa in the kitchen beside the fridge while searching for a glass of milk and she's gonna freak. After that kind of a trauma she wont let Prinz Fred get to third base let alone hit any home runs. The new girl will high-tail it outta that house of horror so quickly that Prinz Fred won't know  who what slapped him. (Don't look as Zsa Zsa this time.) The Prinz will have to find a new locale for his dearly departed - ASAP. 

No lovin'  in front of you know who. Could it be that in death Fred would be forced to be faithful unlike in real life? If poor Zsa Zsa doesn't end up in a closet in the back of the garage  or on EBay in the next 10 years (perhaps parted out - there's more money in parts)  she's for sure gonna end up back at the circus as a side show attraction with the same kinda freaks who she had apparently found engaging and endearing during her life time,  you know -keepers.

I feel nothing but sorrow for this woman. I can't help to wonder if anyone ever loved her for herself and for the gifts and talents that she had and not for what she looked like - a sexual object. We love people for who they are and not for what they can do for us.

God bless you and have mercy on your soul. I'm praying that you will learn about true love from the creator of all love and I pray that he keeps you.

Oh, those wacky population control advocates.

Okay FINE , but you go first.

I dreamt about a little girl who sees demons in the forms of witches in her home and they taunt and terrify her. Her parents not only don't believe her but  scoff  and scold her without mercy. Once when their family was outside and standing on the front lawn, the little girl looked  up toward the house and pointing to an upstairs window  said to her parents, "There they are, can't you see them?!" Of course the room which she had pointed to was her own  and the poor little soul gets little relief.

***

*Please God help your little children who are part of our communion of saints and who engage  in a very real grown -up  spiritual battle as their parents have checked out and are on some sort of childish spiritual  vacation  retreat - deep in denial..

*Pray hard then walk away. We're not qualified, nor are we asked to do any more than that. I warn you, don't  play in this yard.

Be forewarned, I wrote this when I was still angry

and  I'm afraid my temper- which is an embarrassment to me,  is showing.

I nearly went ballistic in public yesterday as I waited for two beauticians to finish my daughters hair cuts. A retarded man was having trouble figuring out what a tip was and how long six weeks would be before his next  appointment. The cashier painstakingly explained both ideas to the man repeatedly as he began to sense a  lack of respect and tried to sound knowledgeable and salvage any remaining self respect he had left and as he turned his back and headed for the door the woman's assistant began to laugh.  I felt the rage well up with in me and fill my chest (The room grew dark as I began babbling in tongues and swaying back and forth, I may have been drooling at that point, I really don't know.) but then that voice (you know, the one that makes you do stuff) said,"Perhaps she was laughing at something else?" So I immediately calmed down -as not to b#tch slap an innocent woman clean into tomorrow and I said, "Ya know, (pausing to take a deep breath) nobody chooses to be that way, they don't like being that way. You have no idea how much pain these people are in and have to endure." (Me thinking - from witches like you.)

If I had been sure she was indeed making fun of him, I would have been asked to leave with her  over  processed ,crunchy, bleached blond hair in twined between the fingers of my fist.

As I left,  that voice (You know, the one that makes you do stuff.) reminded me of the personal pain she will have to endure when the vail of stupidity is lifted from her when she encounters her own personal -"Jesus moment."

FYI *These Jesus moments often occur in the "Labor and delivery" room as new moms struggle to come to terms with their disabled children. (Been there, done that.) 

I wish I would have told her, "We are all only a car wreck away from being retarded/disabled ourselves."

Can you  fill in the blanks?

1) I  blog because ______________ .

2) I think other people  blog because ___________.

3) What's the point of  blogging?

I started blogging two years ago to leave an electronic record for my children and future grandchildren. I had hoped to enrich the faith of other Christians like myself who are just trying to get through this life the best way they know how but I don't know if that's happened. It  doesn't make sense to preach to a Catholic people who are significantly  more educated in our faith than I am nor to a people who will have no part of Christ.

Most people who read my blog never come back.  Has my blog ever helped anyone anyway? I doubt it. 

 I think  it simply draws unnecessary - uncomfortable attention to myself. 

 I suppose blogging has been my way of lashing out at a world fallen deep into a slumber of insanity

- a by product of sin run a muck and I'd wish to have been an antidote in some small way though an impotent one indeed.

Irony is my third most favorite thing about God. It's witty, brilliant and at times so satisfying. I love it.

(Although, I never want to see anyone hurt.)

Our daughter Grace volunteers part time at a day care and I wasn't able to take her into work last Friday so I told her to call the office and tell them she wouldn't be in that way they wouldn't expect her or worry about her. So Gracie looked on the internet for the phone number of the child watch area at work and after she dialed the number a man answered the phone and Grace proceeded to tell him..."I'm not coming in today, I will be in on Monday." The guy said, "Who is this?!","What do you want?!" ,"What are you talking about?", "Who are you?!" All the while speaking rudely to my daughter. She said, "This is Grace and I wont be able to come in today" "I'm sorry but my mom can't bring me in, but I'll be in on Monday". When Grace hung up the phone she said, "Mom, I tried to call work but the guy I spoke with wasn't very happy said he that I called the wrong number. I said, "Well, who did you call Grace? "He said he was with child protective services.", to which I replied "And he was mean to you over the phone?!" She laughed and said, "Yeah."

Communism is bad- very, very bad.

Curly provides us with the best example of  how a dictator should jingle as they walk that way they sound exciting, jolly, generous and fun -just like Santa.....but then after you fall victim to their charms.......

(Think- Sean Penn-babbling.) it's  too late....for you , me , your spouse, your sister, your parents , your children, your dog, and your pet frog Bob (The second Bob because the first Bob died in the party bucket with the beer in the garage.)

 Ah, but at least you'll have free health care!

(The above film clip provided was a  documentation of  a Chavez planning session with his advisers - 5:14 is the best part of the documentary.)

Somebody sucks at making shadow hand puppets.

Here's how it's supposed to be done.

I saw this picture over at Sancte Pater (He's the "Photo shop ninja master") and I thought to myself, Geese, someone may end up living in a trailer park when she's older. I hope I don't end up living in that very same trailer park. She'll wanna run the homeowners association and she's absolutely no fun, in fact she could suck the fun out of a funeral dinner.  I have written ( though poorly of course) a piece about the similarities between Hillary Clinton and a Cohen brothers movie but I've saved it for myself  because nothing is worth going to hell for.

Poor Laika, there was no place to hide on the Shenzhou Five space mission.