I'm noticing a line being drawn in the sand between the liberal and conservative Catholics. In my opinion the resulting changes will be profound and heartbreaking. I suppose each Catholic person has already decided which side of the line they will straddle. Just keep in mind, we will be held personally accountable for each of those  decisions.

If my son, "The bat boy" ends up in the principals office again tomorrow, I will be livid. The little mutant needs to comply with authorities and do his school work with respect and courtesy for others. My son is a mini version of my father... The perils of the genetic lotto.

Hypocrites and miscellany

While at the mall, our daughter Kate asked to look around Victoria's Secret as Grace and I followed closely behind her. An employee said to Kate,"Hi, I see you go to St. Anthony's, do you know my friends Kelly and Shawn and do you know the White's, they all go to St. Anthony's?! Meanwhile I'm standing there wondering how this woman could identify my daughter- Sister Mary Grace and her twin sister Kate from St.Anthony's and then to my horror I realized, THEY'RE WEARING THEIR SCHOOL UNIFORMS in this upscale trashy store!

As I laughed at my own hypocrisy, I recalled the time when a friend of mine was nursing her baby on Victoria's plush red couch under a huge poster trimmed with a gold frame of  partially covered lacy breasts while the employees and patrons sneered at her and made sure she felt uncomfortable. 

As I reflected on these things, I said to my daughters, "Get those skirts outta this store." Then Sister Mary Grace, who's skirt is worn below her knees said, "I didn't want to go in there anyway but before leaving, I said to my sweet daughter, "Well Grace, I found an item that I thought was pretty AND it was sparkly but it was marked $98.00! Do you know how many items I could buy for that same amount of money at K-Mart in the returned lingerie department after Valentines day!?

Then Grace sneered at me and said, "Your not very funny mom."

*Disclaimer- We don't wear pre-worn underwear. It was a joke, however I do believe that many individuals are more concerned about the quality of their underwear than the quality of those whom they sleep with.

Ana said to me, "A man who works at the bank asked me out on a date today, he wanted to know if I ever dated older men and I said yeah, my last boyfriend was twenty-three , then he said, "Have you ever considered dating anyone older - like say... 46? But I told him no, though I would have considered it if he were the bank owner and not the bank president. (Ana loves to tease me and say things to raise my blood pressure- for fun.)
I said , "Don't make me slap you."

 I wish I could have been there to put grandpa in his place.

Sunday Night

My boy handed  the thermometer to me and asked  if  he was sick enough to stay home from school tomorrow. His  temperature was 105.3  and I said , "Certainly, you are sick but I'm taking you to the emergency room  tonight." He said, "I put the thermometer in the bath tub but do I still have to go to school tomorrow?" Well, not if you go to the hospital tonight!" 

It's a miracle. The boy healed instantaneously but because he's been playing with the digital thermometer since Friday,  I 'm surprised that it took him so long to figure out that trick. I also wonder how long it will take before he learns that he can get  fake doctors notes off of the Internet.

Dear Mom,
I was sitting at my desk, working on chemistry. I had headphones plugged into my laptop. I was trying to calculate the amount of Oxygen at 800 torr. pressure. It was really boring.
As I was typing the equation into my calculator, my i-tunes suddenly turned off. I said to myself, "that was weird," and reached over to push play.
A second time, it went from "Mozart: Le Nozze Di Figaro," to sudden silence. I started freaking out and I thought, "Uuuuuuum, I think my computer is possessed...."
I turned my music back on, and literally 2 seconds later, my screen goes black and media settings come on. I pushed the "esc" button. This happened 3 times within (estimated time) 12.4  seconds. It was very aggravating.
Because my music was rather loud, I did not notice the laughing boys behind me.
At this point I thought that my computer was about to crash, so I quickly started to save my homework files and close down applications. After saving almost everything, I noticed the girl in front of me also frantically pushing buttons on her laptop while the screen went on and off.
I took off my headphones and heard the boys laughing. I saw that one of them had a Mac Book remote ( for computers, just like a t.v.). He was aiming it at random computers and controlling them. You would be surprised at the girls reaction (she did not think it was funny). He does not have that remote anymore.

 :)  <3 -Grace

While some men may not look like toads, they may actually be toads on the inside.

What were the chances?......apparently slim to none. Scooby dooby dooo......

 Stupid creepiod slackers

Here's what I wrote to the  Face Book  creeper who posted on my 27 year old daughter's  page in a lame attempt to um... date.
Yeah, so she's 27 and 6 states away ( - give or take)  but  I'll always do what I can to help, support and protect her. In other words, I will never stop being her mother.

The post read as follows.....

"Ibrah M Wanjohi " is on casual dating and wants to chat with you - Live chat now!

No credit cards required. upfront.

(Below are the words used for  Mr.Wanjohi's FB avatar photo.)

I said to Mr. Don Wan  in reply...........

I'm her mother and I say she doesn't wanna chat so you can take your
casual syphilitic self and beat it. Besides there are primary vectors on every street corner in L.A. so to actually seek you out would not only be a waste of time but it wouldn't be very cost effective either. In short - kinda dumb.

You know for something which is so highly prized by men, some fellas aren't working very hard to get it. Some of you guys can't even seem to pretend to woo a woman with your manners, kindness or your absent intellect anymore as you've abandoned the charming lies -once a staple of modern dating while opting for the "Hugh Hefner" straight forward "Hook-up" approach- which by the way wont be working for Hef much longer either  but don't think for a moment that Hugh won't still be having sex in the nether world because he will be, the demons are gonna have a hay day with that man  -and for all of eternity.

*****

Ladies, if a man is unwilling to pay a prostitute to do what you can do for him for free then perhaps you should reconsider. Think about it - doesn't that  make you cheaper than a......
- I can't even finish that sentence.

*BTW - That's my real face book avatar.

That little yodeling stint cost grandpa $1,000. 

(Dang, that could of bought a lot of lederhosen.)

The little elf who was really a troll.

I'm hanging around outside of the ginger bread house where St.Nicholas was entertaining  little angels and as I'm  pulling up the rear in the Santa line, (which I might add ,at one point was as bad as the D.M.V.)    I'm  listening to parents rehearse with their children about what they're  going to say to Santa and what they want for Christmas, when suddenly a crusty old woman wearing an embellished grandma Christmas sweater -a  Elf Nazi, starts yelling at the  parents and their children and says's to all of us, "Santa is done and he isn't seeing anymore children now!"  "It's time for him to go because he has lots of things to do at the North Pole!" ( As I'm thinking ,"Well the laundry is done , he might have a sink full of dishes but they can wait" ;) and so I said to her in my special little way, "No,  he can spend as much time here as he needs to, he really doesn't have anything else he could be doing right now,  he's not  done." Then the grandma elf  became an indignant angrier elf, and said, "OH, YES HE IS!"  "He's tired and he needs to get back to the North Pole!"  "We don't want him to get worn out because he wont want to come back again next year. I said, "No, he can sit there for as long as it takes, it's really no trouble at all,  I know Santa wants to see all of the children in line." I'm positive he does!  (Poor Santa, I didn't even consider that  he might need a bathroom break or perhaps he was hungry,  he rarely complains and besides I had a broken cookie  in my pocket, which for him , always makes everything better!) But the little elf  continued , "SANTA NEEDS TO GET BACK TO THE NORTH POLE! and so  then I put my left arm  around the  antiquated troll, and hugged her tightly so she would feel comfort and restraint which  has always been the method I've  used  for little people who refuse reason. It gives the offender a moment to collect their thoughts , feel security and emotional support and  yet wonder if I'm going to hurt them or not. She replied to me- in her thin, whiny, voice, "We've been here since six o'clock this morning and we're tired and if we push Santa he wont want to come back next year! I said, "I understand,  I'm so sorry,"  And I really was, I don't want anyone to suffer, honestly I don't, but all the while I'm thinking, "Suck it up, - children come first." As I assured her that Santa would - positively be back again next year - I will make him  I promise ;) The woman finally relented and said, "Well, after these kids in line  go through it's over!  No more new kids!" and so I smiled at her, nodded my head and reluctantly agreed.

***

After the last child had left, Santa asked me, "Is the fire truck still out in front and  waiting for me? Have they left without me?  I said, "No, Santa, they're still waiting for you , and I have a broken cookie in my pocket just for you." and my Santa/  blog administrator/ activity director said, "Well nobody threw up, or wet on me this year." I said, "Well that's a - win-win  for both of us!

 -You don't think Santa is the one who would  actually have to clean that now do you?