(Would the committee member who drew the number 666 last night, please begin the meeting.)

The reading at mass for  Friday, March 18, 2011

Ez 18: 21- 28

says the Lord GOD:
If the wicked man turns away from all the sins he committed,
if he keeps all my statutes and does what is right and just,
he shall surely live, he shall not die.
None of the crimes he committed shall be remembered against him;
he shall live because of the virtue he has practiced.
Do I indeed derive any pleasure from the death of the wicked?
says the Lord GOD.
Do I not rather rejoice when he turns from his evil way
that he may live?

And if the virtuous man turns from the path of virtue to do evil,
the same kind of abominable things that the wicked man does,
can he do this and still live?
None of his virtuous deeds shall be remembered,
because he has broken faith and committed sin;
because of this, he shall die.
You say, “The LORD’s way is not fair!”
Hear now, house of Israel:
Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair?
When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies,
it is because of the iniquity he committed that he must die.
But if the wicked, turning from the wickedness he has committed,
does what is right and just,
he shall preserve his life;
since he has turned away from all the sins that he committed,
he shall surely live, he shall not die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This pretty much sinks the - once saved always saved,  theology.

It was such a  surreal  feeling to be browsing around the second hand store and looking at the housewares from the 1950's and 60's while  listening to this song playing overhead. I said to the woman standing next to me. Geese, where am I? Am I still wrinkled and old, then we both laughed but yet for a moment it was 1967. 

Gosh, I hope that doesn't ever happen again.

I dream in anxiety.

Jesus I trust in you.

Dear Mr. Norris, I had the exact same expression on my face today when an old man using the exercise machine sneezed and coughed all over it. Gosh, he practically threw up on it.

 I thought , "Oh great , now I can't use it, and I  may  never be able use that machine again!" 

"Darn, how am  I going to do those sit ups and  chair squats now ?!"

Seriously, if your going to throw up on the machines think about removing yourself from them first. It's common courtesy and as you can plainly see, I need to use the machines too.

(How many cooties are in a wet sneeze, a really big slobbery sneeze.)

Theodore Roosevelt Reviewing and Speaking to 13th Regiment at Sagmore Hill, 1917

On October 14 1912 before a campaign speech in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Theodore Roosevelt, the presidential candidate for the Progressive Party, is shot at close range by saloonkeeper John Schrank while greeting the public in front of the Gilpatrick Hotel. Schrank's .32-caliber bullet, aimed directly at Roosevelt's heart, failed to mortally wound the former president because its force was slowed by a glasses case and a bundle of manuscript in the breast pocket of Roosevelt's heavy coat--a manuscript containing Roosevelt's evening speech. Schrank was immediately detained and reportedly offered as his motive that "any man looking for a third term ought to be shot."

Roosevelt, who suffered only a flesh wound from the attack, went on to deliver his scheduled speech with the bullet still in his body. After a few words, the former "Rough Rider" pulled the torn and bloodstained manuscript from his breast pocket and declared, "You see, it takes more than one bullet to kill a Bull Moose." He spoke for nearly an hour and then was rushed to the hospital.

Despite his vigorous campaign, Roosevelt, who served as the 26th U.S. president from 1901 to 1909, was defeated by Democrat Woodrow Wilson in November. Shrank was deemed insane and committed to a mental hospital, where he died in 1943.

 This day in history.

While my son ate his breakfast I discovered that he threw one of his sweaters into the trash so I asked him, "Why on earth did you throw this away!?" He said indigently, "Because our neighbor wore it when she got cold and I don't wear things that other people have worn before. I said, "Look mister we don't throw clothing away and everything you have ever worn or owned has been worn by somebody else before you got it and if you threw everything of yours away that has been  pre-worn you'd be sitting there eating breakfast and going to school in your underwear.

He sat there stunned and in silence for about 15 minutes.

 Sometimes it takes a few moments to come to terms with the reality of your life. 

 Hey, and it's only just begun!

You can scratch off matches, it's not going to happen.

I've been having a lot of trouble blogging lately - anxiety is always one step behind me.

I'm going to force myself to blog though it.

Lucky you.

My children were in a parade yesterday and so was I - by default.

 I walked behind the crowds and hid for the most part.

 

I'm on the left. The man on the right is not my blog administrator, thank you very much.

This baby was thrilled to pet and drool upon the dog. The dog  however wasn't thrilled with her.

There were hundreds of these "Life church" people and they passed out hot dogs and water to the crowds for free! Our little Catholic float couldn't compete with that feel good kinda stuff. (hahaha) They even had a rockin' band with cool outfits. Where's the suffering in that?!

- Besides my hot dog was cold.

 Here's my son wishin' he was with the Life Church crowd.

(Not really, even he knows how I feel about traitor Catholics.)

This flag was my favorite part about the parade- excluding that baby. 

My administrator said that flying the flag suspended between two ladder trucks was his idea. 

Cool idea- way to go Paul!

The view directly under the flag.

The very last band :(

As I dressed Joseph for alter service this morning our priest walked passed me and I said to him ," Father, I'd go to confession today if I weren't in such a bad mood." He said,"Well that's the best time to go!"  I said, "How can I go to confession and expect to be forgiven when I'm upset and angry with other people!?"  Father said, "It doesn't matter, you need to go,"  "But I don't want to !"  Then Father said ..."Let's go."

*****

Darn, I wasn't in the mood and I didn't bring my list which Father  chastises me for anyway. I never go to confession angry. I always go contrite, embarrassed, ashamed, hurt and disgusted with myself but never angry.

I'm still hurt and if I'm being honest, still a little angry but much less so after Confession (ah, those graces). I always but  always forgive people who sin against me but I can't do it instantaneously. I need time to heal. I need a moment. (two weeks maybe a month ;) I went to communion after confession because even though I didn't feel worthy and my confession was pretty lame I remembered that my  faith isn't based upon my feelings or emotions and that  feelings can be deceptive. I had been forgiven even though I don't feel it and even though it wasn't my finest moment and even though I had been coerced into confessing.  

Lord, I'd like to be the person you intended for me to be from the

moment of my conception but so far for the most part ........  it's not happening.

Sarah......."Dad", "I want to take a gun safety class. The Knights of Columbus are sponsoring the classes at the parish center."
My blog administrator............"That's great I'll take the class with you and so will your mom."
Me..........That's all fine and dandy, besides I was trying to figure out how I was gonna  get rid of all of that extra beer I had leftover from your birthday party!

******

I kid you not, while we were perusing the gun selection at Cabela's I saw a crossed eyed man looking at guns. Can you really buy a gun if you can't see properly?!
BTW. We didn't buy anything because we're saving up for an air conditioner. Isn't that right St. Anthony?

*FYI - If you ever decide to go to Cabela's  head for the "Bargain Cave" it's where they keep the good stuff.

Our daughter Ana is a  swimming instructor and before class began she took a roll call in front of the children and their parents and as she called out the name "Shawntel" she looked at a little black boy and directed her question towards him, "Is your  name Shawntel?"  "No", the child replied, "My name is Brian." Naturally Ana was embarrassed by her politically incorrect questioning so to be fair as the parents looked on she asked a little white boy, "Is your name Shawntel?", all the while knowing full well it wasn't, but just then strolls  in a little black boy and his family and Ana said , "Hi, whats your name?" and the child replied, "I'm Shawntel!"

*Poor awkward Ana, it's a reasonable mistake and to be fair I've heard  of  some pretty strange Catholic names before.

Church people

I've been elected to be the new PTO president of our children's school.

You know what comes next don't you?

Someones gonna get flash fried.

(It's gonna be me. I just know it.)

*Disclaimer- Nuke jokes are never funny and neither are church people.

 

It's gonna hurt!!! It's gonna hurt!!!

Yeah, I'm going down.

After I worked out at the gym yesterday an older man with a cane began to speak with me. He said, "Exercising is fun aye!" and I said, "Yeah, right!" and then I smiled at him as he began to tell  me about his medical conditions in thorough detail.... "precise thorough detail" but my head began to buzz and my stomach started to turn as I tried to catch my breath from the sit up machine I had just conquered. (Because if the circumfrence of my waist equals or exceeds the circumfrence of my breast size , I shall kill myself) I tried not to be rude as he pulled up his jean shorts (Daisy dukes) only to reveal way too much of his leg as he described what had happened to his vascular system after taking Lipitor. (ewww)  I stepped back because I didn't know how much more of his leg he was gonna show me and I wondered what my activity director  would have said or thought had he walked in on this scene but then I suddenly realized  that the room was begining to buzz and my head began to feel light as my stomach ached and I knew  I had 90 seconds to make a decision as I would shortly be on the floor. I knew I could either put myself on the floor the nice way or end up there the hard way so after I excused myself  I scoped out a comfy place to lie down and hide.(Unlike the pool concrete floor like last time) I couldn't see my activity director (my husband) anywhere so I snuck off  to an office room with carpet - ah, carpet and  as I laid on the floor like a crime scene victim in between the computer and office chair,  I prayed that no one would find me. It would have been so embarrassing. I was afraid someone might see me and scream.(I would have) After about ten minutes on the floor I emerged back to about  50% of myself again.  I got up and moved  to the public waiting room and I laid down on the entry couch and tried to look as "normal" as I could - just chill-axing on the couch.  When my activity director showed up  he was upset but not surprised as he  hates it when I pass out and apparently I don't breath properly when I do. I said to my husband,"Well I'm not enjoying this too much either mister and I especially hate it when employees come over to check on me even though they have always been so kind to me.

My activity director reminded me that I'm getting too old to do extreme exercises  and he said I'm not allowed to kill myself at the gym. I reminded him, I'm just trying to do my personal best in all that I do. That's all.

 I'm not scared to die anymore because I know I will pass out before it happens - Jesus I trust in you.

(I will never look like this because I love ice cream)

Killing me softly

Oh, my stars, oh my stars !!

My daughter has informed me (this morning) that she has invited 67 people for dinner tonight!

SIXTY-SEVEN !! So if you count those people plus my blogger buddies

who will be here that equals SIXTY-SEVEN people!

I'm afraid that I might not have enough view master view finders for everyone.

I'm under orders from Sarah not to ask anyone to help me move furniture and I can't ask if anyone wants to play view masters with me.

I had better cook more food.

I should have known this would happen. I couldn't figure out how I got two gallons of barbecued pulled pork out of two medium pork roasts.

As I watched it multiply in the pan I should have caught a clue ;)

I'm keeping my best buddy in my closet.

He wont stay there though.

The serpentine dance - in our garage.

Rose... Dad, "there's a snake in the garage."
Dad.... I'll get it later.
Joseph .... "Dad, save the rattle!!"
Me ..... Get it now or I will never go into the garage again.
Me .... Oh crap, I must have carried it in with the wood for the stove and I had carried it next to my face but everything up close is blurry. I remember thinking that something fell off, but when I went back to look I had found nothing. Well at least it was a nice snake.

We've also had one in the hallway of our home before.

The kids had said, "mom, there's a snake right next to you." Naturally I scoffed.

My snake handler got that one too.
I don't think this is normal.

Annabelle Whitford Moore is pictured above performing her famous serpentine dance.

She was born on July 6,1878 in Chicago and died on December 1st, 1961.

She had been an employee of Thomas Edison and worked with him

producing images for his Kinetoscope

******

I love those Kinetoscope and stereo card viewing arcade machines. The first time I saw one was at Disney World. The second time was this past year in
Minden Nebraska. It was such a bother too because the machine would only take a dime and who has a dime in their pocket? I bought a soda for $1.50 so I would have five dimes in change but the children fought over the soda so naturally I had to by five more sodas so that ended up costing me $9.00 but the pop machine only gave back quarters so I started begging strangers to make change for a quarter but who has dimes in their pockets? My activities director came through for me - as usual, he brought me a dozen dimes. Oh, the joy of that machine!

It didn't have dirty pictures like the machine I found over on eBay

but that machine didn't have dirty stereo cards either....Faulty advertising.

$2,500.00 - it didn't sell.

Going Postal

I drove to the post office to figure out what kind of items I would be allowed to mail to our daughter in California.

Since she doesn't own a car, I think that she has been going without many necessities and not saying anything to us because she's a very independent person.

When I arrived at the post office, there were 18 people in line for postal services , but there was only one postal worker. The woman who got in line behind me said Jesus's name in vain so I automatically had a strong dislike for her... Then as another woman was being helped with her packages she began to lose her temper, then she turned to her captive audience and said, " Is anyone else mad about the extraordinarily long wait?" followed by , "this is ridiculous." Clearly she was angry and in physical pain due to the fact that she was exceedingly overweight.

( I know that some poor folks can't help it !)

Of course several people piped in but then I forgot myself and said , "You think this is bad? Just wait till we have government run health care!" As soon as I realized what I had said, I wished that I hadn't. No one said anything after that and you could feel the uncomfortable tension and awkward silence in the crammed and overly heated room. I considered for a moment how awful that non-compliant woman must have been feeling due to her physical limitations and how her sin effected everyone else in the room . I thought about the countless times that my sins have hurt other people and in various ways-- some of which are still unknown to me and then I sorta felt sick and most certainly ashamed. The postal worker was also rude, impatient and absolutely no help at all, so I drove to another post office where they helped me figure out my postal issues.

But for a few minutes I thought about a government run health care program .

The people who wont feel very well are sometimes going to be jerks yet others will do frightening things , especially if their children or loved ones are sick. Some poor souls wont feel well enough to wait in lines while other people will feel entitled and think that lines are beneath them and don't forget that MANY people carry concealed weapons. Even I have toyed with the idea many times,( with proper training and papers) but I have never been able to decide - perhaps I have already decided.

Now I have a Jr. Blog administrator named Ana, and she said that my grammar is poor and I say "and" too much. Go figure.

Mr.Misery, loves company.... and I was great company too!

I put something together for my entertainment director to wear for a party that we went to last night and he looked fabulous, but yikes , what a grumpy attitude.

In fact his attitude was rather Grinch like if you ask me. (What a freaky role reversal.)

I had a great time even though the food was terrible and cost us about $60.00.

I went with pre -conceived ideas about some of the people which was sinful on my part.

The person who I thought that I would like the least was my favorite person to talk with during dinner. The man was surprisingly very conservative and as he began to irritate another woman in our party with his views , I laughed out loud and said , "oh, well she doesn't like you very much, but she still likes me and the man said ,"well that's because you haven't said much yet. I said ,"I really don't need to say anything because with me having eight kids that pretty much screams conservative dont you think?"

Then the people at the table nodded in agreement.

(I love Democrats, they're deeply caring people . They're also charming , funny and delusional.)

*I had a lot of trouble narrowing down the perfect ensemble for my blog administrator/entertainment director, but I finally chose the one below on the far left with the extra long collar because it was so cold outside and he would be able to wrap it around his neck a couple of times for added warmth.

I usually bring this guy (anxiety) with me where ever I go , but I left him in the car this time , though he taunted me again when I got back into the car. I really hate him.

The temperature of my social anxiety is begining to rise.

My entertainment director is taking me out for dinner tomorrow night which would normally be a lot of fun , but it's a Christmas dinner with pagans.

It's not really this dramatic, but I'm confident that I will be bitten at least once ,

but probably several times.

I have an obligation to tone myself down and to hold my tongue

for the sake of my saintly husband.

In other words I can't be my normal religious freaky self.

I've made a mental plan though I will cut to the chase and just say .... YES , I'M THE ONE WITH ALL OF THOSE CHILDREN ...now move out of my field of vision .

*I'm sure that they will find me demure and charming in person (hahahahaha)

and I hope that I lose those pesky extra ten pounds by tomorrow afternoon.